Wedding bells

So this wedding is quickly approching and I'm getting more and more excited by the day. It should be a relaxing road trip and a great time celebrating the love my brother has found. :) I'm so proud of him! He has grown so much in the past year and he will only continue to become a better man as time goes on.

I ordered my bridesmaid dress 6 weeks ago and it fit perfectly! Very flattering and I feel so sexy in it! I picked it up last week and tried it on and it looked positively horrible. Literally, a potato sack on my new and improved body. I made my alterations appointment and I pick the dress up this Friday.

Over the last 6 weeks:

+I've lost 10 pounds exactly!
+Alterations has to take my dress in 2 inches!

To date it's been 4 months, 34 pounds lost, and I'm down 2 pant sizes!!!

Cheers to more where this came from!

All in good time

I'm feeling a little extra lonely lately. It could be because two of my closest friends are moving this summer. It could be that the recent visit from my mother has just ended. It could be that I haven't visited my family since Christmas. It could also be that I've been watching classic love stories all day long. There's just no telling. :)

I am feeling more anxiety than I ever have in regards to my future. I feel I have planned for and organized everything within my control for the next 5 years in regards to my education and my career. I am proud that I have discovered my true passion and I am thankful to have the opportunities that allow me to follow it. I am prepared and excited to reach those goals and to make new ones as I progress in my life.

Part of my anxiety stems from my passion and desire to have a family. I can't help but think that life never really begins until you find someone to share it with. I have been given the opportunity to discover myself and to perfect the person I am so that I am happy and healthy as I move forward in life. I have no doubt that things will fall into place for me - it's all just a matter of time. Patience is not something I have, but I am content that everything will come in due time. I have been working diligently on myself over the past year and I continue to discover, acknowledge and make sense of who I am and who I want to be, not just in general, but as a wife and possibly even as a mother. So many of my close friends and family are settling down and starting families that it's hard not to feel like I'm falling behind. I have to constantly remind myself that I am only 22 and it will come to me when I am ready. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm ready to be ready.

As much as I'd like to make changes to further develop my independence and to nurture the woman I want to become, I think staying put will be good for me. My life is constantly undergoing change and I don't think that's what I need right now. I need something solid, I need progress, I need accountability and stability - I need focus. In a nutshell, I don't want to move. Anywhere. I want to stay put and dig in my heels.

I realize I have more work to do, but I think it's time for a list. I need to feel a sense of accomplishment, otherwise I'm just an old maid.

+Solidify my faith by going to church, praying/meditating, making sense of the world around me from a spiritual perspective.
+Investigate and acknowledge my anger issues and work through it. It will not be a lifelong struggle for me.
+Begin writing my book about my journey of self discovery and my search for love.
+Continue to lead an active and healthy lifestyle. I want to try new things, be open, be adventurous and create, and continue to push myself to test my limits.
+Be green and help the environment.

I know every person in my life is here for a reason and will either teach me something or learn something from me. I have surrounded myself with beautiful, nurturing people and I have no doubt that I will get support from all of you. I appreciate every one of you and am thankful to have you in my life. I am lucky for knowing you. I hope you will still be with me when I accomplish all that I set out to accomplish and I wish the same for you in your life. I love you.

Tell me about the things you wish to accomplish in your life.

"Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Green!

I just watched Food, Inc. and although I will not become a vegetarian, I will become more interested and responsible for the foods I purchase and consume. I appreciate documentary's like this that make industry secrets available to the public. The truth is, we are supremely uneducated about so much of what we do on a daily basis and it's important that we know that something has to give and that it starts with me.

My list of sins:

-I have not recycled in a year and a half.

-I generally do not check to see if I'm buying local, organic, grass fed or cage free.

-I use more than my fair share of water and electricity.

-I create a lot of trash.

-I purchase produce from a grocery store year round and don't pay attention to what is in season.

My list of vows:

+I will use less water when washing dishes, washing my face, brushing my teeth, taking a shower, doing laundry and running the dishwasher.

+I will check for and purchase more local, organic, grass fed and cage free products, including products not tested on animals.

+I will contact my apartment complex manager and push the issue of making recycle available to residents of the complex.

+I will be more conscious of my electricity consumption. I am currently a Greenergy member of SMUD, where 100% of my electric bill comes from renewable energy resources such as sun, wind and water.

+I will consider creating my own urban compost or at the very least, use my garbage disposal for food scraps rather than my garbage in an effort to keep food out of the landfill.

+I will use and recommend cloth diapers for my family and for my future client's families as diapers make up the 3rd largest waste product in landfills.

+I will save my pennies for a bicylce and ride to the grocery store and library instead of driving.

I already use reusable water bottles; buy recycled products when possible; am a Greenergy member of SMUD, where 100% of my electric bill comes from renewable energy resources such as sun, wind and water; cook my own food and use reusable containers, thanks to my apartment complex I have energy star appliances and a water saving washing machine; I don't consume dairy products or wheat products which lessens the demand of land and resources to supply or transport those products (however, I do eat meat and they are fed grain which is transported); and I use the train when traveling instead of plane or car.

I did do a very basic calculation of my carbon footprint and I emit 22 tons of carbon dioxide every year. It is below the U.S. national average, but I will see what I can do to lower this.

How big is your carbon footprint: http://www.nature.org/initiatives/climatechange/calculator

Can it get any better?

Oh, how wonderful my life is. I hate to brag, but I have truly never been happier or more content.

Saturday brought me beautiful weather, a poolside BBQ, laughter, family and good friends, IKEA and a wonderful sleepover. Sunday started with a cup of coffee with a lovely lady, Tai Chi and a little yoga (note to self: lose more weight before trying yoga again - you looked dumb), planning and preparation for the week ahead and laying out by the pool in the sunshine with my girlfriends. Monday I leave for Quincy, CA to camp in Sammy's backyard which promises good fun, lots of laughter, adventures and excursions, 2 joyous little children and time with my "new family".

I am eagerly looking forward to my wine tasting party and am hoping my mom will be home by then. I haven't seen her in 3+ months and I just can't wait any longer. I am anxious for her to meet the new friends I have made recently and reconnect with the friends I've had. I love our talks immensely so I am planning a doozy for the two of us when she arrives home.

On the horizon is my brother's wedding and the bachelorette party! I have the honor of being a beautiful bridesmaid and I have been given the fantastic gift of walking with my beautiful baby niece down the aisle. I can't wait for her to grow up so we can be best of friends. She will love California and will visit often because we will have ice cream for breakfast and pancakes for dinner, visit amusement parks often, build forts in the living room and I will buy her things her parents said she can't have. I can't wait to meet her because I know she will be an extension of me even though she isn't my daughter. I love Tory &Kelli for allowing me to meet and get to know her. I wouldn't mind another, guys. ;)

Loving life and new horizons

I have great friends that keep me busy and fulfilled.

I love working at the hospital and am thankful I have a life that allows me to volunteer.

I am looking forward to summer and fall semester because I am getting so close to nursing, I can taste it.

I am ready for summer to start and for the weather to warm up so I can spend my days relaxing poolside.

I will meet with my personal trainer next week to get a plan for the gym so my hard work keeps paying off.

Speaking of the gym, swim class and Tai Chi start next week and I can't wait to go! In the spirit, I bought two new bathing suits!

Weight loss update: 19.5 pounds and still going strong!

The Skinny Girl Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my shape to keep

Please no wrinkles, please no bags

And lease lift my butt before it sags

Please no age spots, please no gray

And as for my belly, please take it away

Please keep me healthy, please keep me young

And thank you, dear Lord, for all that you've done.

Thanks Amie!

J'adore ma vie.

So whatever it was that I was going through last week has packed a back &left running leaving no traces behind. I'm literally dancing in my seat as I type this. :D

I would like to thank:

+My wonderful lady friends that helped me pull through (Amie, Sam, Caitlin, Pam to name a few). I'd be sitting on my couch watching TV and eating brownies if it weren't for you ladies.

+My new gym membership (thank you Amie). It gives me energy, makes me feel better about myself, &increases my positivity.

+My ipod for my wonderful music selection that kept me company in the gym today &for pushing me to go faster &farther.

+The California sunshine for putting me in a beautiful, productive mood.

There is nothing I can't do! I shall conquer the world! But first, a shower &some lunch.

Have you smiled today? :D

"I like chocolate, but my hips sure don't. I like drinking red wine, but tomorrow my head sure won't. These are just some things that I love that are bad for me. I like shopping but my purse sure don't. I like wearing high heels but tomorrow my feet sure won't. These are just some things I love that are bad for me. Why does everything that feels so dang good bad for me?" Danielle Peck.

Weight loss update: To date, I have lost 15.3 pounds!!!